NAME:
Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard) SEX:
Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will
cooperate). DESIRED
POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available.
If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. DESIRED
SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance
package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. EDUCATION:
Yes. LAST POSITION HELD:
Target for middle management hostility. PREVIOUS
SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. MOST
NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. REASONS
FOR LEAVING: It sucked. HOURS
AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any PREFERRED
HOURS: 1:30 - 3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday. DO
YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate
environment. MAY WE
CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here? DO
YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50
LBS.? Of what? DO
YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be, 'Do you
have a car that runs'. HAVE
YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION: I may already be a winner
of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me. DO
YOU SMOKE? On the job - no! On my breaks - yes! WHAT
WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously
wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced
bread. Actaully, I'd like to be doing that now. NEAREST
RELATIVE: 7 miles DO
YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?
Oh yes, absolutely. ***
OLD PEOPLE ROCK! *** | 
