Patricia E. Kefalas Dudek
Advocate for Elders, People
with Disabilities
and Their Families

Some of my Favorite Fun and Games and Funnies (General)

Click here for Political Funnies

Videos:
  2011 Winter Coming: This was sent to me with LOVE from a friend that lives in Arizona. It will be here before we know it...Patti
Fun and Games:

Muggle Quidditch Becomes Popular Sport Among Students
J.K. Rowling’s pop-cultural phenomenon Harry Potter has become a cultural icon in recent years, and one of the most popular Harry Potter references is the wizarding sport of Quidditch. The once fantasy sport has become a real-world competition thanks to two college students. To learn more about Muggle Quidditch, read the Intercollegiate Quidditch Rules and Guidebook online.

Printable Mazes
Hundreds of printable mazes that you can download and print for free.

Funnies:
Non Sequitur by Wiley - 7/2/12
Link to a pdf document with some really cute stuff!
Loyal Workhorse Wanted
Patti's Comments: This is one of the funniest things I have ever read. I have been accused of being too hard and "mean" to staff….apparently I am not the only one…. Enjoy the reading!
Perri Meno-Pudge
A grown-up cartoon for women at Midlife that taps into the healing power of humor and then uses it to help navigate daily roadblocks. Focusing on the FUN in dysFUNctional, Perrie and friends use humor to bring to light the common experiences we all share as women at Midlife, and tells us we are not alone!
Don't Mess With Mature Ladies!
A really cute cartoon about an "over 50" lady getting pulled over for speeding...
9 Lists You Can Never Quite Recall
Wait, I know this one: there's Bashful, Dopey, Happy, Doc, Grumpy, Sleepy, and... it's on the tip of my tongue. Spare yourself the frustration of trying to remember that last name and consult this cheat sheet of famous lists that are easy to forget.
The Funnies - Zits - 1/26/11
Dilbert - 11/26/2003

"Why Should I Have to Pay?"
Jim Day, Las Vegas Review-Journal (from Kaiser Health News)

"Remember, you said why pay for schools when we got no kids - well, you didn't want to pay so somebody else's kid could become a doctor and now you're sick. And this is the only guy I could get..."

From Perrie Meno-Pudge:

Thanks for picking me up from the ER, Perrie. I didn't hit my head hard when I slipped and fell but the store owner insisted on an ambulance. So the EMT tested my level of consciousness and he just wouldn't believe me when I told him I never get "What day is it?" right on the first 2 or 3 tries!

Click here for article

1943 Guide to Hiring Women

My girls are just starting to understand how lucky they are after watching the films Pride and Prejudice, The Duchess, and Titanic. My oldest said how glad she is that she does not have to worry about being married off and glad she has a vote. She will just crack up when I show her this!!

Halloween's Gonna Suck this Year ...

Wal Mart Applicant Revealed...

Below is an actual job application that this 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal Mart in California. They hired him because he was funny.

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate).

DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASONS FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30 - 3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS? Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS.? Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question here would be, 'Do you have a car that runs'.

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE? On the job - no! On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS? Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actaully, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE: 7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE? Oh yes, absolutely.

*** OLD PEOPLE ROCK! ***

Greek Humor

Why Greeks Can't Be Terrorists

  • 8:45am is too early for us to be up.
  • We are always late; we would have missed all the flights.
  • Pretty people on the plane distract us.
  • We would talk loudly and bring attention to ourselves.
  • With food and drink on the plane, we would forget why we're there.
  • We talk with our hands, therefore we would have to put our weapons down.
  • We would ALL want to fly the plane.
  • We would argue and start a fight in the plane.
  • We can't keep a secret, we would have told everyone a week before doing it.
  • We would have put our country's flag on the windshield.

Are You a Greek -- How Can You Tell For Sure?

  • If you have ever been hit by a 'PANTOFLA.'
  • If you grew up scared by something called 'baboula'.
  • If others tell you to stop screaming when you are really just talking.
  • If you light a candle to Virgin Mary (Panayia) on the night before your big test.
  • If you use your chin to point something out.
  • If you have at least 2 relatives within walking distance.
  • If your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you for dinner, even if it's a one bedroom apartment.
  • If you attended, graduated or dropped out of Greek School.
  • If during Greek Easter you take off from work for religious reasons, and attend the Epitafio at NIGHT.
  • If you become sick and anemic because you did not eat meat.
  • If whenever you feel under the weather, you compulsively drink Tsai and dab on some 'Vick's vapor rub' all over your chest and inside your nostrils.
  • Your mum packs your 'kolatso' and makes your bed every day even though you've just turned 32.
  • If you call all non Greeks a 'Xeno' even if you know their nationality.
  • If at least 2 other cousins have the same name as you or if you have at least 3 cousins with same name.
  • If you hated fakkes, bamies, or fasolakia as a kid, but started enjoying them as you grew up.
Grandkids

Patti's Comments: This is for all you grandparents out there — enjoy! (It was passed on to me from my mom!)

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before.. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.....

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire, it hung from a tree in our front yard We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No, how are we alike?''...... "You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!"

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not sure..." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised, "mine says I'm 4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back," said one child. "No," said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close."They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good good things, but I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.


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