| God
works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on
welfare in a mysterious way. ~ Steven Colbert |
| No
one is better at not beating America than England. ~ Jon Stewart |
| Life's
disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear
words. ~ Calvin & Hobbes |
| This
is the worst thing to happen to beaches since the Speedo. ~
Bill Maher's thoughts
on the BP oil spill. |
| BP
has put more birds in oil than Colonel Sanders. ~ David Letterman |
| Hobbes:
Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, SOMEBODY'S out to
get me.~ Calvin and Hobbes |
Strength
is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with
your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces. ~ Judith
Viorst
Patti's Comment: For the record, I'm not able to do this! |
| The
most wasted of all days is one without laughter. ~ E.E.
Cummings |
| Things
are never so bad they can't be made worse. ~ Humphrey Bogart |
| I like
nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. ~ Dr. Seuss |
| Having
a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.
~ Martin Mull |
| We're
all gonna be gay if we get health care! ~ Bill Maher |
| Republicans
are taking the defeat over Health Care as well as Tiger Woods
took to marriage. ~ Bill Maher |
| May
the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
~ George Carlin |
| Old
is always fifteen years from now. ~ Bill Cosby |
| There
are millions of Americans who are clever and fearless, but the
trouble is they are only four years old." ~ Author Unknown
|
Anyone
who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child
to go to bed." ~ Robert Gallagher
Patti's Comment: This made me giggle and think of my daughter,
Elaina! |
| Health
food may be good for the conscience but Oreos taste a hell of
a lot better. ~ Robert Redford |
| I tried
being reasonable, I didn't like it. ~ Clint Eastwood |
| Christ,
seven years of college, down the drain. ~ John Belushi |
| One
of the hardest things in life is watching the person you love,
love someone else. ~ Unknown |
| Everyone
is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege. ~ Unknown |
| If
you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education,
go to the library. ~ Frank Zappa |
| You
can't have everything... where would you put it? ~ Steven Wright |
| Always
do right; this will gratify some and astonish the rest. ~ Mark
Twain |
| We
must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success
of those we don't like. ~ Unknown |
| There's
never enough time to do all the nothing you want. ~ Calvin and
Hobbes |
| Hobbes:
'Do you think there's a God?' Calvin: 'Well, SOMEBODY'S out
to get me.' ~ Calvin and Hobbes |
| What's
the point of wearing your favorite rocketship underpants if
nobody ever asks to see 'em? ~ Calvin and Hobbes |
